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Homosexuality has been around for ages. It's just that people are now "coming out" with the fact that they're gay. Like everything else that is new and challenges the way society works, the topic quickly became controversial. I'm not a fan of homosexuality but that doesn't stop me from being friends with people who are gay. After all, our sexuality is only a small part of who we are. With that said, I've invited Wavel Fraser, blogger at "The 'Coming Out' Stories" to speak about the daily struggles her friends had to go through. Below is her story. 

 

 

Although times are changing, you can still come across many people who are very close minded when it comes to matters of sexuality and the choices some make. Opinions are immediately formed and many are even divided because of different beliefs. The truth is, who are we to judge if someone prefers being different from the ordinary.

 

 I can distinctly remember a friend of mine first opening up about his sexuality among a little group of us; there was a long pause and a dreaded silence hovering over the room. I think the first reaction for everyone was shock and disbelief; we were waiting for the “gotcha! I’m joking”. Maybe the fact of not showing signs of “gayness” allowed his statement to hit us for six. It wasn’t that we would judge him or looked at him any differently, but the question was, how he kept it hidden for so long. As a friend, I always respected people’s choices and opinions; so after a few seconds of digesting what was just dished to me by my beloved friend, I gave him a hug. I wanted him to remember that our relationship isn’t going to change because of his preference of love, it goes beyond that. I believed everyone took the information well that day; he was the same guy we knew for years, so why change because his sexual preference was different from ours.

 

 Then there are the ones who are completely “the homophobic”. The ones who believe they can catch something if they stand in the same room as a gay man. The ones who can’t stand gays but will watch two women make out and deemed it “sexy”. I honestly think lesbians don’t have it as hard with acceptance as compared to gay men (but who am I to say that, I’m not in the situation). I have seen lesbians be so open with their sexuality: they kiss, they grab each others’ butt, they hold hands, they feel on each other, and many walk by like nothing is out the ordinary while a few may stop to take that glimpse.

 

 Having a conversation with a lesbian friend once and she being the first lesbian I knew that had a rough acceptance, was impossible to believe until I actually heard it myself. At the age of 14 she was curious, curious to know why she was so attracted to women and not men. Being a gorgeous female and placed in a category of “what all the boys want” and not interested in boys was confusing. At age 14, she felt like she should be having an interest in boys, but instead her hormone was raging for girls. At 14, (and like everyone’s story) she grew up in a Christian home, with Christian morals and values; so why is the “devil” taking her down this path of “destruction”. I remembered her telling me, that at age 15, she decided to open up to her mother on her sexuality and that reaction from her mother was the least bit accepting. A prominent woman in the church, a group leader, a prayer warrior and an usher; how dare you come at me to say you’re a lesbian. The mother’s first reaction was a literal slap to my friend’s face, followed by a knock upside the head with the edge of the holy bible. There was never a thought in her mind that her mother would become the person she least knew until that day. Snatched at the back of the neck and dragged into the ‘prayer room’, she was told to kneel and confess her sins while the mother repeatedly “beat the devil out of her”. (Now I can’t give out much of this story because her story is one of my blog being posted soon, stay tuned). Lets’ just say, her latter was great than her past.

 

 It continues to amaze me how so many gays and lesbians go through such horrible experiences and still stand their ground. I remembered one bi-sexual friend of mine, whose best friend was forbidden from hanging out with her, because of a mother’s fear of her daughter becoming bisexual as well. Ha!! (I just had to laugh at that one.)There are many struggles when one decides to open up about their sexuality, some even leading up to suicide because of the lack of knowledge in dealing with isolation from people who were close to you. The struggle is real and is continuously faced by many who don’t have an avenue to channel their emotions, and that lifeline which they can count on in time of need. I’m human and I understand the emotions many face on a regular basis; we are not made of stone (though some may act like it) and we can’t pretend forever that everything is okay, so before we judge someone’s choice, ask yourself; WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

 

 

After reading this what are your views?

 

 

Daily Struggles

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